This past weekend we celebrated Easter. And next weekend our taxes are due. That’s the two certainties in life, right? They’re also two of the things that scare most people – especially the death thing. If I’m being honest, I don’t fear death because I know where I’m going when I leave this earthly plain. (If you’re not sure, hit me up and we can chat about it.) I am afraid of the dying part. I mean I don’t really want to go skydiving, have my chute fail to open and then survive it only to spend years in surgery and rehab. Nor do I want to languish for a long period of time. I’m all about going to sleep and just not waking up. Do you hear me God? ‘Cuz that’s what I’m ordering up.
Taxes? They terrify me. Actually it’s really the IRS that strikes fear in my heart. I’m convinced it’s of the debil, Bobby Boucher – I’m sure Mama would agree. The worst part of preparing my return is watching the TurboTax numbers go from red to black as I add in the W-2s and 1099s. It seems to happen faster each year. On the flip side, the best part is adding in the deductions as I watch that red figure decrease and eventually turn green. I pray for it to turn green each year. As I’m a skilled procrastinator I have yet to start that process for 2022. Sure hope it goes green this year too! To add insult to the fear factor, there’s always the possibility that when I check my mailbox it may contain a letter from the IRS informing me of an audit. That’s on my Nope List (to be shared here soon), right along with snakes. That’s not totally nutty, right? I hope so, because I live with a fear of checking my mail daily.
I do now have a glimmer of hope in facing these twin fears though. And I have Easter Sunday to thank for it. My pastor’s sermon focused on the hope available to replace our fear of death and it made me consider the rationality of my fears in general. I have lots of them that are completely irrational – like getting an uneven number of M&Ms in a handful. (Shout out to my fellow OCD peeps.) Or that my dog secretly hates me. (She doesn’t, mostly.) However, upon reflection I’ve realized that both my fear of dying and that of the IRS/taxes are completely rational. And they’re both ones I need to just get over as they’re not going anywhere. At least dying only happens once so it’s not a constant fear. However, I have to face the 1040 gauntlet annually so it’s a true thorn in my side (#TaxationIsTheft). As such, it behooves me to figure out a better coping mechanism than eating an entire bag of, evenly numbered, candy-coated chocolates. Maybe someday I’ll be able to forgo the candy, but not today. I’m gonna need those suckers when I’m done wrangling my return.
Have I gotten it all figured out yet? Nope. Will I ever get it all figured out? I’m gonna have to go with nope again. But at least I know just where to start – in my backyard, bare feet in the grass, enjoying the beautiful day God gave us, sharing my fears with you, my friends. I’m going to soak up this peace, then pull on my big girl pants and prepare to tackle that pesky tax return. Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow. Promise.
In the meantime, if you’ve got any tips to share on facing fears I’d love to hear them. Or if you’d feel better sharing your own, hit the comments section. I may not be able to fix them, but I can listen. 🙂
Thanks for spending a bit of your day with me. I’d love it if you’d like, share, comment, and to be sure you never miss a post, subscribe. Thanks!!
Shannon R. Brown 